Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Prayer

Call me the prayer, Perhaps I don't know well of my religion knowledge, but no matter what I do just please categorized me as the prayer.

Perhaps I'm not a good person, and I knew Im not, Im a bad person in society, a selfish and a hedonist person, I don't know and not too enthusiastic with what happened to my neighbors or my friends. I'm the villain in the movie, Im the joker in the Dark Night, or perhaps the two face. But is it wrong for me to take this path? as a religious person, as a good wannabe person.

It is a shame for me as a person that born in religious environment but don't know much about my religion, Everybody around my neighborhood in surabaya is great alquran reader, some of them able to read arabic with no harokat, they remember a lot of praying reading and the how to's. While me.. Im nothing in my religious view.

But that's me, it's already happened to my life, there are so many regret in this life and I don't want to be in that regret forever. Just receive me as the way I am, with the all that I have.

I fix my life pieces by pieces, I rebuild my career again, and thanks god I've been in this office and feel received with all the aspect of it. Today is exactly my a year plus two month in this office, it is the longest time for me for working, and I hope it will happen to me for long time, for longer years forward. I was moving and moving again in my previous works, I don't want do that again, at least as far as this company need me, I will not search for other place.

Im a humble person, Im not expecting to be reach and success, I already used to live simple. Im a happy with the all that I have. I have great family that will always receive me when I back to Surabaya. I have a lot of friends, well it's not as much as you have I guess, but I have a lot of friends. And I have a great job, I build great application for users. I am an engineer, I dedicate may days for building software, I am an enthusiastic person to technology, Im a good learner.

I said to myself that working is praying, living is praying, Im not a holy person that clean of everything, and as an ordinary person I am a full of mistake, full of sin. It is far more easy for me to write it beautifully, I know it hard to do in real life, but I feel so in religious atmosphere right now, is it a mistake for me that I write what I want to do in my own life? I know I will far... far away for this ideal life, I just want to write it, perhaps I can read it again and useful for me or somebody else.

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