Today is the vote day for the next president, my office as all other office is not enter today, I did not make a vote, it's too expensive for me to go home for a day for voting, it's Wednesday, Ill be on office tomorrow, furthermore I already predict that SBY will win the vote, until the last news on tv he got over 60 percents followed by Mega and JK, JK only got 12 percents of vote. And JK, my favourite candidate was not too convince me to go home and vote for him, I watch the last debate on tv, he is not too shiny, SBY more adorable, especially the last question about what if the candidate didn't chosen as president, SBY said that he will follow the chosen one, Mega said that she will continue her duty as before, and JK said that he will back home, he already think he will be chosen by say thanks to people.
But as if I made a vote I still vote for JK, I love his profile, that last debate show doesn't less me to appreciate him with all he did and what I heard from news, for me he and his family has strong religion rather than other candidate. And the main reason I love JK rather than SBY because he more live, he more brave against foreign people, I ever heard I forgot the situation and the case but he told foreign people that we will do our business rather that taken over by them. While SBY always speech in the international event that Indonesia already did good democracy and good economic progress in the country, I mean he so open wide for working together with other country, perhaps we need someone who didn't do that, we need someone who reject the opportunity for foreign people doing their job inside the country, and in my opinion JK has that profile.
Ironically my favourite president profile is George Walker Bush, I know he is west and war against Iraq and Afghanistan, surely I feel deep sorry for that aggression, but as a leader he shows us about dignity, about pride as a country. He great speaker, so confident when talking, and charming. Obama also great speaker but he so same as SBY, he always said about democracy, human rights, and peace. He travels to arabian country to say about peaceful world, that's nice but I prefer profile who has high pride, but surely without war against poor country, it just more stylish like George W. Bush rather than Barrack Obama.
Great leaders are born to lead, not by trained, not by schools, it is a destiny, just like a gift, he or she came when people need a change, most of them came when his nation in the worst condition, poor and pathetic, he has a brave heart like William Wallace, a straight heart like Joan of Arc, big dreams like Alexander the great, or many others, we can mention our idols. All of them have the brave, strong will in their life, they have faith. They have great sensitivity to their nation, they care about their people and want make a good change to their people. But all of those leaders are live in the past era, when the glory of nation shown by land, when there are no computers and companies, today the situation are more complex, leaders are not only the leaders of the citizen only, there are many leaders in many aspects of our lives, there are living people who we may adore about their leaderships.
Although we are not born with that leader characteristics, we should learn to lead ourselves, to lead our environment. In every single day of our life we should try to change ourselves to be a better person, and trying is not about gift, it's about will, the question is how far we already try, and it's a hard question in our lives. But it just like learning, just like writing or coding, it is learning, never ending learning.
As a human, all of us are leaders, leader of ourselves, leader of our environment, we lead our environment to a better condition, we can simply see our environment as the result of our leadership because we give contribution to our environment, whatever we say whatever we do it influence our environment. I remember a khatib when I pray Jumat, that as a leader, with the worst condition of our life, but if we have faith in ourselves than we still have a modal to give a good thing for our environment, he said that seven skies as the witness for what a person said, especially if we have our faith in our religion.
He said that there is a research in Japan that shows two different water, one water in religious environment and the other is not. The scientist said that the molecule of the first water more healthy rather than the second, it may prove that people who often wudlu will have shiny face or medicine with only with prayed water may help the patient. It already proved by Japanese scientist. So do our other things in our environment, our laptops, desk, clothes, and other will reflect what we do. Perhaps that too over, but that what the khatib said, and I think its true, he said that if we have a pet or plants in our home than they show how the condition of the owner little bit.
As a citizen I often imagine someday I will have an ideal leader of our dreams, that leader should brave, trusted, smart, good speaker, and other good things, I just need to add it, but honestly I will disappointed, because there are no person like that, no one perfect. And I think the better thing I can do is not to imagine that condition happen in our country, it's too complicated if I imagine and think about this country, I should see myself, I am nothing in this country. But I can start imagine that condition in my environment, my small environment, my office, my working desk and the nearby, let's say to myself and aware about the conditions, and think of my leadership in this environment.
But as a citizen I should follow my leaders, and just want to say congratulation to the selected Mr. President. I will follow him and always try to criticize of the condition and situation, especially I'm in Jakarta right now, I can join demonstration easily, in the circle of Hotel Indonesia as usually I saw on tv, that will be a great time.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Writer
I don't care if my write didn't popular, as if nobody read my writes, as if nobody will understand what I write. So do what I do in life, many things I've taken was not popular, and it doesn't matter, nothing need to be approved, it's not a mathematical equations, I free to decide to make the result, there's no grade limit for the result, there's no pushes to make a good result. It just the options in live, I can choose any options, whatever it necessary for me, whatever I feel like to be, or even I may not choose all of those options, I just do nothing, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I just want to write, nothing philosophy inside, nothing special in my write, it just plain text of daily story. The fact is it is a hard thing for me to make a write, I often loose my words, I often erase my paragraphs and cancelling, and the other fact is I don't have a theme right now, my times is spent at the office, I wake up in the morning and go to office early, I went home lately, and the project didn't finished yet, there's always new issue there, new bug in bugzilla. I feel numb right now, cannot think clearly, I cannot read e-book anymore, I feel empty of my battery, but I cannot sleep, it just blurry of me.
I don't care if this post is short, there's no need to be long post, I want to write some hilarious note, long, themeable, bright note, but it's hard, I'm not a novelist, not a fame writer, I'm an engineer, I write this post hush-hush while I'm working in the office, my bug is already zarro, I'm idle right now, I just want to write.
Let me tell you about my project and my office. I'm working in IT vendor in the edge of Jakarta, in BSD (Bumi Serpong Damai), not in Jakarta exactly, the fact is it in different province, it is in Banten, in the city of Tangerang, The office name is Balicamp, it the division of Sigma, biggest local vendor in Indonesia. It is the biggest because it have the biggest employee for local vendor, about 900-1000. It said that the first stand of Sigma in 1986, it only by 8 people. But unfortunately the salary is poor, not the highest also, perhaps the salary is the lowest between vendors.
Balicamp itself stand in 1999 our CEO today Bpk Toto Sugiri whose lives in Canada today, it named Bali-camp because he got a crazy idea had a it vendor which like a programmers camp. So it built in big house in a hill in Bali, in the village named Pacung before Bedugul a lake for tourism in Bali. First opened there are huge news from foreign tv and news such as CNN, in contrary there were no publicity from the local news. And by the time Balicamp was mostly working on foreign clients. Until the year of 2004 when there were Bali bombing, the office in Bali was closed because there are no client anymore. In the 2007 the office-house was want to sell, but Telkom, the biggest telecommunication company in Indonesia buy the Sigma capital for investment, so it cancelled to sell and operate again since in the middle of 2008, I should went to Bali that time but I was set in a project so until today I still in Jakarta. The capacity in the Bali office is 200, I heard it still 120 person there. Sigma itself has several office building, two in Jakarta, one in Balicamp, and one again in Surabaya, a data center. In Jakarta there are few floor in DEA tower in Mega Kuningan and few floor in German Center in BSD, I am in the last building, in German Center 5th floor, I am in the east wing, the west wing is for data center, data center are full filled with servers that used by many Sigma clients.
The office is unique, it named Desa Sigma, Some said Pak Toto himself was known as an artist rather as a businessman, he renovate the fifth floor of German Center become a village in Bali, the floor was changed with cement, the wall was decorated, some painted in yellow, some changed with wood, some still in bricks, and there are a lot of batik curtains and sticked lamp. The place for lamps are also traditional, some made from bamboo, modelled woods, or zinc. There are some small blocked circle place for small meeting, the wall are from bamboo and wood. There are fish pool in front of the lift, there are mini garden and fountain in front of security desk. After we left out the lift there are two door. One in the right is into the east wing my desk, the other is into west wing, most of place is for data center. There also some room in fourth and third floor belongs to Sigma, but the condition still remain genuine not renovate.
Today I still working on the project for WOM Finance, the loan company for motorcycle, we just reuse our application, Lendor, it modified with the WOM requirements. The framework of lendor is built with java, we only change the page and the query on the surface of the application, I only change the xml when make or modify query, I only change the html for the page, I rarely modify the java files, I play a lots with javascripts and vbscripts, it calls the new page and query from scripts. It use a lot of finance words and dizzy rules.
I just want to write, nothing philosophy inside, nothing special in my write, it just plain text of daily story. The fact is it is a hard thing for me to make a write, I often loose my words, I often erase my paragraphs and cancelling, and the other fact is I don't have a theme right now, my times is spent at the office, I wake up in the morning and go to office early, I went home lately, and the project didn't finished yet, there's always new issue there, new bug in bugzilla. I feel numb right now, cannot think clearly, I cannot read e-book anymore, I feel empty of my battery, but I cannot sleep, it just blurry of me.
I don't care if this post is short, there's no need to be long post, I want to write some hilarious note, long, themeable, bright note, but it's hard, I'm not a novelist, not a fame writer, I'm an engineer, I write this post hush-hush while I'm working in the office, my bug is already zarro, I'm idle right now, I just want to write.
Let me tell you about my project and my office. I'm working in IT vendor in the edge of Jakarta, in BSD (Bumi Serpong Damai), not in Jakarta exactly, the fact is it in different province, it is in Banten, in the city of Tangerang, The office name is Balicamp, it the division of Sigma, biggest local vendor in Indonesia. It is the biggest because it have the biggest employee for local vendor, about 900-1000. It said that the first stand of Sigma in 1986, it only by 8 people. But unfortunately the salary is poor, not the highest also, perhaps the salary is the lowest between vendors.
Balicamp itself stand in 1999 our CEO today Bpk Toto Sugiri whose lives in Canada today, it named Bali-camp because he got a crazy idea had a it vendor which like a programmers camp. So it built in big house in a hill in Bali, in the village named Pacung before Bedugul a lake for tourism in Bali. First opened there are huge news from foreign tv and news such as CNN, in contrary there were no publicity from the local news. And by the time Balicamp was mostly working on foreign clients. Until the year of 2004 when there were Bali bombing, the office in Bali was closed because there are no client anymore. In the 2007 the office-house was want to sell, but Telkom, the biggest telecommunication company in Indonesia buy the Sigma capital for investment, so it cancelled to sell and operate again since in the middle of 2008, I should went to Bali that time but I was set in a project so until today I still in Jakarta. The capacity in the Bali office is 200, I heard it still 120 person there. Sigma itself has several office building, two in Jakarta, one in Balicamp, and one again in Surabaya, a data center. In Jakarta there are few floor in DEA tower in Mega Kuningan and few floor in German Center in BSD, I am in the last building, in German Center 5th floor, I am in the east wing, the west wing is for data center, data center are full filled with servers that used by many Sigma clients.
The office is unique, it named Desa Sigma, Some said Pak Toto himself was known as an artist rather as a businessman, he renovate the fifth floor of German Center become a village in Bali, the floor was changed with cement, the wall was decorated, some painted in yellow, some changed with wood, some still in bricks, and there are a lot of batik curtains and sticked lamp. The place for lamps are also traditional, some made from bamboo, modelled woods, or zinc. There are some small blocked circle place for small meeting, the wall are from bamboo and wood. There are fish pool in front of the lift, there are mini garden and fountain in front of security desk. After we left out the lift there are two door. One in the right is into the east wing my desk, the other is into west wing, most of place is for data center. There also some room in fourth and third floor belongs to Sigma, but the condition still remain genuine not renovate.
Today I still working on the project for WOM Finance, the loan company for motorcycle, we just reuse our application, Lendor, it modified with the WOM requirements. The framework of lendor is built with java, we only change the page and the query on the surface of the application, I only change the xml when make or modify query, I only change the html for the page, I rarely modify the java files, I play a lots with javascripts and vbscripts, it calls the new page and query from scripts. It use a lot of finance words and dizzy rules.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Benjamin Button, the continues
... Outside the building Benjamin asked Daisy is she loved David, she said she think so, then he said that he loves her dance show, and then he went back to New Orleans.
He said that nothing need to be complicate, he ride his motorcycle in New Orleans, he sail with his boat, he companied by a lot of women. And it was a glorious time for Daisy, she went to London, Prague, and Paris for dancing, she the only American girl dance in Bolshov Russia. But in the night she always say "goodnight Benjamin" before sleep.
One day when Benjamin fixing the corner house roof, he got mail from Paris, so he went to Paris, to a hospital, Daisy got an accident, she crushed by a taxi, her leg got five place broken, with treatment and therapy she perhaps can walk again, but she never dance anymore. When he meet her, she was so angry, she just don't want him to saw her like that. He asked her to move with him, she said that she don't want to go back to New Orleans, he said he will stay in Paris then, but she rejected, she just didn't want him to help her. For a while Benjamin stay in Paris and live near hospital to make sure she was alright.
It was spring 1962, when he was in corner house, Daisy came visiting. Queenie asked daisy why she so selfish not write them a letter. And then Benjamin asked Daisy to sail with him, and then sell his father's house, they moved in duplex house, there were no a stick of furniture, they only have a matras in a living room, and a TV, they watch The Beatles. Their neighbour is Mrs. Van Dam, a bone therapist, she therapy Daisy's leg, and there are a public pool four block from the house, in one occasion Daisy was cry when she saw a young girl swim fast, she said she just afraid grow older, and they put too much calorine in the pool. And in one day they went to his father lake house, and Daisy swear him she never pitty for herself because cannot dance again.
She build a studio, she teach ballet to young girls. She said dance is about a line, sooner or later we loss that line. And then she said that she was pregnant, Benjamin was afraid of that, he afraid if the baby born abnormally like him, but Daisy convince him that she want to raise the baby and want him to company her, And that time he watch tv news that his old friend Elizabeth Abbot swim across English Channel in fourty three years old, she did what she dreamed before. So the baby born in usual spring, she was born normally and healthy, they give her a name Caroline same as his mother name, but Benjamin feels wrong he said that Caroline needs a father not a childhood friend.
In Caroline first birthday, they have a party for her, there were a lot of children in the house. Benjamin sold his Button company, he sold the lake house, and the sailing boat, he gave the money for Daisy and Caroline for living. He went before Caroline start to memorize him. He went to India. He wrote a postcard in every Caroline's birthday and put in that book. When she was two he said that he want to saw her grew, nothing will replace that condition, when she was five he said he want to friend her go to school, when she was six he said he want to teach him piano, and when she was thirteen he want to angry to her not to chase some boys, and he want to be there when she got broken heart.
In one night Benjamin visiting Daisy after she teach the class, he enter the house, she said that the class is already over, she asked if he pick up a student, and then she knew that he was Benjamin, he looks so young. And then Caroline came, so do Daisy new husband. Daisy introduce Benjamin as her family friend, she said to Caroline she new her when she was baby. His husband said to Benjamin that so nice to meet him and they waiting in the car, Daisy said that she locked up the house first, she asked Benjamin where he lived, he said in the hotel near there, he said he didn't know what he gonna do. He said that Caroline as beautiful as he mother, he asked her if Caroline also a good dancer, she said no, he said that's must because him. Daisy told him that Caroline is a sweet girl, and her husband is a widower, he is a nice man, nice husband.
After her husband passed away, she got a bell asked him to go to corner house, there is a man from a kind of public children organization, he said that he found a book that a lot of Daisy names and that address, he said Benjamin got dimentia, he forgot when and where he was. And then they hear a piano played, it was Benjamin in a kid body. Daisy came to him and said that it was a good play, she loved to hear that, she introduced herself and asked him if he knew her, he said he didn't know her. So in everyday Daisy visiting the corner house to convince her Benjamin is alright, sometimes Benjamin was angry because he said that he didn't got his breakfast, sometimes he hike the roof and told everybody about everyplace he knew. He said he want to fly, and Daisy said that she knew a man who can fly, she will tell him about the story.
In 2002, the train station change the clock with digital clock. Benjamin was in child body, learn to walk, learn to talk, Daisy company him passionately. She showering him, she take him walk in the park. In spring, when she hug him, she said that he saw her and felt know her. And then he close his eyes as sleep as usually, he passed away.
He said that nothing need to be complicate, he ride his motorcycle in New Orleans, he sail with his boat, he companied by a lot of women. And it was a glorious time for Daisy, she went to London, Prague, and Paris for dancing, she the only American girl dance in Bolshov Russia. But in the night she always say "goodnight Benjamin" before sleep.
One day when Benjamin fixing the corner house roof, he got mail from Paris, so he went to Paris, to a hospital, Daisy got an accident, she crushed by a taxi, her leg got five place broken, with treatment and therapy she perhaps can walk again, but she never dance anymore. When he meet her, she was so angry, she just don't want him to saw her like that. He asked her to move with him, she said that she don't want to go back to New Orleans, he said he will stay in Paris then, but she rejected, she just didn't want him to help her. For a while Benjamin stay in Paris and live near hospital to make sure she was alright.
It was spring 1962, when he was in corner house, Daisy came visiting. Queenie asked daisy why she so selfish not write them a letter. And then Benjamin asked Daisy to sail with him, and then sell his father's house, they moved in duplex house, there were no a stick of furniture, they only have a matras in a living room, and a TV, they watch The Beatles. Their neighbour is Mrs. Van Dam, a bone therapist, she therapy Daisy's leg, and there are a public pool four block from the house, in one occasion Daisy was cry when she saw a young girl swim fast, she said she just afraid grow older, and they put too much calorine in the pool. And in one day they went to his father lake house, and Daisy swear him she never pitty for herself because cannot dance again.
She build a studio, she teach ballet to young girls. She said dance is about a line, sooner or later we loss that line. And then she said that she was pregnant, Benjamin was afraid of that, he afraid if the baby born abnormally like him, but Daisy convince him that she want to raise the baby and want him to company her, And that time he watch tv news that his old friend Elizabeth Abbot swim across English Channel in fourty three years old, she did what she dreamed before. So the baby born in usual spring, she was born normally and healthy, they give her a name Caroline same as his mother name, but Benjamin feels wrong he said that Caroline needs a father not a childhood friend.
In Caroline first birthday, they have a party for her, there were a lot of children in the house. Benjamin sold his Button company, he sold the lake house, and the sailing boat, he gave the money for Daisy and Caroline for living. He went before Caroline start to memorize him. He went to India. He wrote a postcard in every Caroline's birthday and put in that book. When she was two he said that he want to saw her grew, nothing will replace that condition, when she was five he said he want to friend her go to school, when she was six he said he want to teach him piano, and when she was thirteen he want to angry to her not to chase some boys, and he want to be there when she got broken heart.
In one night Benjamin visiting Daisy after she teach the class, he enter the house, she said that the class is already over, she asked if he pick up a student, and then she knew that he was Benjamin, he looks so young. And then Caroline came, so do Daisy new husband. Daisy introduce Benjamin as her family friend, she said to Caroline she new her when she was baby. His husband said to Benjamin that so nice to meet him and they waiting in the car, Daisy said that she locked up the house first, she asked Benjamin where he lived, he said in the hotel near there, he said he didn't know what he gonna do. He said that Caroline as beautiful as he mother, he asked her if Caroline also a good dancer, she said no, he said that's must because him. Daisy told him that Caroline is a sweet girl, and her husband is a widower, he is a nice man, nice husband.
After her husband passed away, she got a bell asked him to go to corner house, there is a man from a kind of public children organization, he said that he found a book that a lot of Daisy names and that address, he said Benjamin got dimentia, he forgot when and where he was. And then they hear a piano played, it was Benjamin in a kid body. Daisy came to him and said that it was a good play, she loved to hear that, she introduced herself and asked him if he knew her, he said he didn't know her. So in everyday Daisy visiting the corner house to convince her Benjamin is alright, sometimes Benjamin was angry because he said that he didn't got his breakfast, sometimes he hike the roof and told everybody about everyplace he knew. He said he want to fly, and Daisy said that she knew a man who can fly, she will tell him about the story.
In 2002, the train station change the clock with digital clock. Benjamin was in child body, learn to walk, learn to talk, Daisy company him passionately. She showering him, she take him walk in the park. In spring, when she hug him, she said that he saw her and felt know her. And then he close his eyes as sleep as usually, he passed away.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
My Way
People are only watching, they only commenting, they didn't feel the pain, they didn't feel the hurts. I came to Jakarta for fixing my life, I cannot depend on my family forever. For months I apply to every single company on internet or newspaper, I went to rent internet almost every single day, for six months I was unemployed. I was a telemarketer in Surabaya for a day, I phoning everybody from phonebook to buy credit card, in the early morning my boss ask me how we doing, and our answer is "Luar Biasa". I was a mall marketer, I asked visitor in Carrefour to help WWF with their credit cards, they told me how to ask people nicely, I must take about three meters, make a big smile and using right hand and say "Hello... have a couple of minuites, do you have a credit card? the visa or the master card?", and until the middle of the day we didn't get one person at all, my brother angry to me and ask me to stop the job and I agree with him, I will so ashamed if I meet my friends, I do that job for two days.
Three times I went to Jakarta for interviews in some companies, most of them reject me, I was accepted in two places, first, as a programmer that I forget the language, it just unusual programming language, in a small office in Grogol, they pay me less and I think Im the only programmer they have, so I reject it, the second is as Delphi programmer in Tanah Abang, I feel bored with Delphi, and in the same time I was accepted to be trained in Balicamp although I pay for that training. This office accept me with the all I have. And it's not a coincidents, I read Core Java both parts of the book, Eli give me the books, it's hundreds of pages, I read the beginning chapters over and over again. I fix my computer, I ask my sister to buy me a computer memory, I learn Java. I do my best in this office, I'm not interested to move, I do want to be rich, everybody want, but I'm not expecting that, I know myself, I receive myself if I'm not reach and success. As long as this office need me, I will stay and take care my job, but as if it didn't need me anymore, I will find other office that receive me. I just don't want to go home to Surabaya.
Not everybody will understand my way, I was in Jakarta before, in Cilandak, my office was in blok A in front of Darmawangsa Square, I was there for seven months with Delphi and ASP. It was glorious, one of the clients are multinational bank, the building is in BEJ or in Juanda, but I feel so empty, I thirst of religion, I feel so young, and I have money. My childhood is a religious environment, most of my friends are in traditional schools, one of them still school in Lirboyo Kediri. I told my mom that I want to learn religion for a while, I said I have money, I accept if I enter the beginning class. My mom is happy, she said don't worry about the money, she think I will continuing my grand father paths having my own traditional shools, doesn't matter if the students are few, we are proud if we have ours. So I went to Kediri. I live and sleep in a room with about fifteen friends in 4 by 4 meters room. I wear sarung and kopyah, I read arabic letters, I pray a lot, I remembering so many beautiful words in arabic, we discuss a lot, we did a lot of activities.
But it was a mistake, I was too old, I already broke, that place is for good people, I'm a bad person, in my age I should take a job not go to school, I just such a man that don't know my age, some said that I just en empty person, some said I just like new Lia Eden or someone who will have new kind of religion. I was in Lirboyo for six moths, went home in a bad way. After that time my life is finished, I feel the same thing when I'm in last years in college, it just happened again. I just felt.
At home, I was nothing, but not until a week, I join my senior as ad Delphi programmer in Graha Pena, but I cannot concentrate myself, I loose all my confidence, I just such a living manequin, I had a bad attitude, I always respect my senior, but I will runaway if I meet him again for hiding, I regretting myself for that time, I was in that office for three months, I've got fired because my bad attitude. It complete my pain.
Most of office I've applied asked me why I went to Kediri, why I often moving on my previous offices, or is I ever asked why I was fired, and always asked me why I need six years for my bachelor. I cannot answer their questions, it just happened to me. I didn't know the answers, I think I only quite until they ask me another question. In that time I already pessimistic I will not accepted, but I believe there is company that will receive me with all I've done.
I write this post to say to myself that I'm not empty in my religion. I read AlQuran better rather than most of people here. This place is town different from my village. I live in two different places, I wear short pant and play futsal here, I half naked when I swim, I cannot read AlQuran loudly here, sometimes I read quitely in afternoon or in the morning. I live in nonmuslim, Chinese house, office give me this home address, I don't want to move, I'm tired for always moving. A living friend of mine ever asked me why went to Kediri, I said for learning my religion, he cannot understand what I did, he even didn't understand why I pray five times, he different religion. So do people in my home, my aunt ever asked my what school I take, I said I learn computer, she asked me again is there any knowledge for other electrical stuff, I said there is a machine technique or electronics. A friend of me in Kediri talk to me and imagine how do I work in Jakarta, he asked me if I wear tie and blazer, I said no, I just wear usual clothes and shoes. I also not like Lia Eden or someone who make a new religion, perhaps I'm lack of my religion knowledge, but it's too far away from my mind, I just ordinary person with a lot of mistakes and sin.
I am a software engineer, graduated from reputable university, many young men want to be like me. My field is software, not religion, but I do want to do as my grand fathers did, perhaps I not teach my students, I can as an investor building the schools, let people who learn religion teach my students, or I raise poor or don't have parents children, we teach them religion, such like my uncle did in Surabaya. I already choose my path, it already happened to my life, let me do my way in my own life.
Three times I went to Jakarta for interviews in some companies, most of them reject me, I was accepted in two places, first, as a programmer that I forget the language, it just unusual programming language, in a small office in Grogol, they pay me less and I think Im the only programmer they have, so I reject it, the second is as Delphi programmer in Tanah Abang, I feel bored with Delphi, and in the same time I was accepted to be trained in Balicamp although I pay for that training. This office accept me with the all I have. And it's not a coincidents, I read Core Java both parts of the book, Eli give me the books, it's hundreds of pages, I read the beginning chapters over and over again. I fix my computer, I ask my sister to buy me a computer memory, I learn Java. I do my best in this office, I'm not interested to move, I do want to be rich, everybody want, but I'm not expecting that, I know myself, I receive myself if I'm not reach and success. As long as this office need me, I will stay and take care my job, but as if it didn't need me anymore, I will find other office that receive me. I just don't want to go home to Surabaya.
Not everybody will understand my way, I was in Jakarta before, in Cilandak, my office was in blok A in front of Darmawangsa Square, I was there for seven months with Delphi and ASP. It was glorious, one of the clients are multinational bank, the building is in BEJ or in Juanda, but I feel so empty, I thirst of religion, I feel so young, and I have money. My childhood is a religious environment, most of my friends are in traditional schools, one of them still school in Lirboyo Kediri. I told my mom that I want to learn religion for a while, I said I have money, I accept if I enter the beginning class. My mom is happy, she said don't worry about the money, she think I will continuing my grand father paths having my own traditional shools, doesn't matter if the students are few, we are proud if we have ours. So I went to Kediri. I live and sleep in a room with about fifteen friends in 4 by 4 meters room. I wear sarung and kopyah, I read arabic letters, I pray a lot, I remembering so many beautiful words in arabic, we discuss a lot, we did a lot of activities.
But it was a mistake, I was too old, I already broke, that place is for good people, I'm a bad person, in my age I should take a job not go to school, I just such a man that don't know my age, some said that I just en empty person, some said I just like new Lia Eden or someone who will have new kind of religion. I was in Lirboyo for six moths, went home in a bad way. After that time my life is finished, I feel the same thing when I'm in last years in college, it just happened again. I just felt.
At home, I was nothing, but not until a week, I join my senior as ad Delphi programmer in Graha Pena, but I cannot concentrate myself, I loose all my confidence, I just such a living manequin, I had a bad attitude, I always respect my senior, but I will runaway if I meet him again for hiding, I regretting myself for that time, I was in that office for three months, I've got fired because my bad attitude. It complete my pain.
Most of office I've applied asked me why I went to Kediri, why I often moving on my previous offices, or is I ever asked why I was fired, and always asked me why I need six years for my bachelor. I cannot answer their questions, it just happened to me. I didn't know the answers, I think I only quite until they ask me another question. In that time I already pessimistic I will not accepted, but I believe there is company that will receive me with all I've done.
I write this post to say to myself that I'm not empty in my religion. I read AlQuran better rather than most of people here. This place is town different from my village. I live in two different places, I wear short pant and play futsal here, I half naked when I swim, I cannot read AlQuran loudly here, sometimes I read quitely in afternoon or in the morning. I live in nonmuslim, Chinese house, office give me this home address, I don't want to move, I'm tired for always moving. A living friend of mine ever asked me why went to Kediri, I said for learning my religion, he cannot understand what I did, he even didn't understand why I pray five times, he different religion. So do people in my home, my aunt ever asked my what school I take, I said I learn computer, she asked me again is there any knowledge for other electrical stuff, I said there is a machine technique or electronics. A friend of me in Kediri talk to me and imagine how do I work in Jakarta, he asked me if I wear tie and blazer, I said no, I just wear usual clothes and shoes. I also not like Lia Eden or someone who make a new religion, perhaps I'm lack of my religion knowledge, but it's too far away from my mind, I just ordinary person with a lot of mistakes and sin.
I am a software engineer, graduated from reputable university, many young men want to be like me. My field is software, not religion, but I do want to do as my grand fathers did, perhaps I not teach my students, I can as an investor building the schools, let people who learn religion teach my students, or I raise poor or don't have parents children, we teach them religion, such like my uncle did in Surabaya. I already choose my path, it already happened to my life, let me do my way in my own life.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Playing Futsal
I'm not a geek, I'm an easy going person, I played futsal this night, actually I want to write some serious theme such as imperialism, JK, or politics, but I'm not that smart enough, so I write about my futsal-day. I'm not a good football player, far away from Steven Gerard. I even cannot kick the ball, I don't know how to kick, my kick is the slowest kick I've ever seen. I just running catch the ball forward and back, my goalkeeper often yell to me, sometimes he said to stay in the center back behind the line, sometimes said to stay guarding tight on one player.
I played futsal four times in my whole live, once when I'm bachelor, three times in this office. And it will be counting more because I've already have my futsal shoes and the stock. In high school I play soccer many times, sometimes in front of my school, sometimes on other place, my friends often ask me to join them although I mostly only stand up in the field. I play again when Im bachelor two or three times in the first year. And I never played again until today. In that time there are no futsal, it's new game, and I think west people create it.
I bought futsal shoes one day before after office hour with Suarlin and Robby. First we came to Adidas FO behind the Petronas Gasoline in BSD near BSD Plaza. And then into Sports Depot inside BSD Plaza, we bought shoes in that store. Actually I already bought a soccer shoes before in Carrefour, the red one, Eagle, 150 thousands, but it cannot played in futsal field, it will ruin the field because the bottom of the shoes are for outdoor soccer field. I spent a lot of money for futsal things. In Adidas FO everything is expensive, although it already discount for 50%, it still 500 thousands above, and the size are too big, there are the cheapest but the size is 47, while my size is 43. Sport Depot is a big store, and only sell the sport equipments, many kinds of shoes, tennis, badminton, or running shoes, there are rackets, barbels, or equipments such as body protector for hands, knee, just everything connected into sport are available. I bought Diadora LX, a white blue stripped shoes, 299 thousands, and a pair of blue Puma stocking, 49 thousands. I search the green one but not available, the store guard said that yesterday the green are there but already bought for surely. Suarlin and Robby bought Nike shoes, 450 thousands, Suarlin's white, Robby's black, without stocking.
Both of Suarlin and Robby are good player, they create goal tonight. But I remember one of the goal is assisted from me. Im a defence player, a center back, just like Maldini. So my main job is protecting our team not to creating goals, but perhaps someday I will create one, in case futsal field is small, I only need to run a while I will in the enemy base. The fact is Im a good defence player, when I play in the game the score is 4 - 0 for my team. I play full time in the second half of my team's second battle.
We have a tournament, there are six teams, Pc Programmer, it's my team, and other five teams. We split into two group, A and B, we are in group B with RPG and Permata team. We first versus RPG team and we won, and then versus Permata and I was as the defender in the second half, and we won again with score 4 - 0 for my team. Suarlin made two goals, Robby and Rudy made one goal, I am the defender, and Monang as a goalkeeper, that's the composition in the second half when I played, because we were tenth I guess with Suryo, Hatta, Adit, and sorry I cannot remember, but for surely Dani, Suroso and Miko didn't came. Next week we gonna versus the runner up of group A, and if we win the game, we go to final round.
We play in the new building in front of German Center my office, it newly opened for a week, it discount for 50% as softly opening, the building still not ready on the outside, there are small holes in the building, we play when raining, the water is drawn on the wall when we sit down on the supporter side. Before this day we play in Grand Serpong Futsal, far away about ten kilometers from my office. The new building is a smaller building, it has only two fields, each of fields doesn't have enough space for sit down, the supporters must sit outside from the fields. The remaining space of the building only two meters strike a head, on the corner are six small bath room, we change our costum there.
I don't care if I am not a good football player, as if I cannot kick the ball precisely, or as if I run like a woman, my friends receive me and ask me to join, and I am a good defence player, I am dicipline in my position, I do what my team ask me to do, and the result is we keep our goalkeeper clean from enemy's goal, and I have agood time.
I played futsal four times in my whole live, once when I'm bachelor, three times in this office. And it will be counting more because I've already have my futsal shoes and the stock. In high school I play soccer many times, sometimes in front of my school, sometimes on other place, my friends often ask me to join them although I mostly only stand up in the field. I play again when Im bachelor two or three times in the first year. And I never played again until today. In that time there are no futsal, it's new game, and I think west people create it.
I bought futsal shoes one day before after office hour with Suarlin and Robby. First we came to Adidas FO behind the Petronas Gasoline in BSD near BSD Plaza. And then into Sports Depot inside BSD Plaza, we bought shoes in that store. Actually I already bought a soccer shoes before in Carrefour, the red one, Eagle, 150 thousands, but it cannot played in futsal field, it will ruin the field because the bottom of the shoes are for outdoor soccer field. I spent a lot of money for futsal things. In Adidas FO everything is expensive, although it already discount for 50%, it still 500 thousands above, and the size are too big, there are the cheapest but the size is 47, while my size is 43. Sport Depot is a big store, and only sell the sport equipments, many kinds of shoes, tennis, badminton, or running shoes, there are rackets, barbels, or equipments such as body protector for hands, knee, just everything connected into sport are available. I bought Diadora LX, a white blue stripped shoes, 299 thousands, and a pair of blue Puma stocking, 49 thousands. I search the green one but not available, the store guard said that yesterday the green are there but already bought for surely. Suarlin and Robby bought Nike shoes, 450 thousands, Suarlin's white, Robby's black, without stocking.
Both of Suarlin and Robby are good player, they create goal tonight. But I remember one of the goal is assisted from me. Im a defence player, a center back, just like Maldini. So my main job is protecting our team not to creating goals, but perhaps someday I will create one, in case futsal field is small, I only need to run a while I will in the enemy base. The fact is Im a good defence player, when I play in the game the score is 4 - 0 for my team. I play full time in the second half of my team's second battle.
We have a tournament, there are six teams, Pc Programmer, it's my team, and other five teams. We split into two group, A and B, we are in group B with RPG and Permata team. We first versus RPG team and we won, and then versus Permata and I was as the defender in the second half, and we won again with score 4 - 0 for my team. Suarlin made two goals, Robby and Rudy made one goal, I am the defender, and Monang as a goalkeeper, that's the composition in the second half when I played, because we were tenth I guess with Suryo, Hatta, Adit, and sorry I cannot remember, but for surely Dani, Suroso and Miko didn't came. Next week we gonna versus the runner up of group A, and if we win the game, we go to final round.
We play in the new building in front of German Center my office, it newly opened for a week, it discount for 50% as softly opening, the building still not ready on the outside, there are small holes in the building, we play when raining, the water is drawn on the wall when we sit down on the supporter side. Before this day we play in Grand Serpong Futsal, far away about ten kilometers from my office. The new building is a smaller building, it has only two fields, each of fields doesn't have enough space for sit down, the supporters must sit outside from the fields. The remaining space of the building only two meters strike a head, on the corner are six small bath room, we change our costum there.
I don't care if I am not a good football player, as if I cannot kick the ball precisely, or as if I run like a woman, my friends receive me and ask me to join, and I am a good defence player, I am dicipline in my position, I do what my team ask me to do, and the result is we keep our goalkeeper clean from enemy's goal, and I have agood time.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Jenson Button, The Curious Case
I'm not gonna tell you about Jenson Button, I'm gonna tell you about new imperialism. The west country actually still war with us, not with blood but with taught, with information. The field of war are many fields: sports, technology, economy, science, education, every single aspects of our lives cannot separate from their agendas.
Last Sunday I watch F1, not from beginning, not until finished. It just great show, the west show, new kind and glamour show. Jenson Button win the race, it's his sixth win in this season, I hope he will the next world champion. He's 29 years old, I am gonna 28 this August. He also a model because of his good looking face. He has many girl friends. He already in F1 for many years, but in the past he just middle-last racer. But he already a public idol for his country, England. I ever saw him in Top Gear, British tv show about cars. He is as a guess star, it said that although he was not top F1 racer, he already reach and famous, many young man want to be like him.
F1 is a symbol of post modern lifestyle, they want us to be part in F1, they want children and young men be an F1 racer, they want us to have F1 circuit in our country. The west people will help the countries that already on their side. they will build a circuit on those country, they will take a racer from them. Malaysia is a country loved by them, they build Sepang for F1, they build Petronas tower in there. They want us to be like Malaysia, have F1 circuit, have tall tower, have great oil company.
I cannot receive if somebody said that our people are dumb because cannot have F1 circuit or sky tower. West people build them. They give a lot of money, allowance from world bank to build those building. They give their architect and expert to build them. It's all because Malaysia is nice country for their imperialism agenda. Their agenda are migrating the local values into their value, they made great concept of live, the improvement of technology, economy, or democracy. Well not all of those values are bad, we didn't have other solution for better lives. Well we already know that the best way in life is our religion, they just intrude in every single aspect in our life.
Everybody goes to school learn their language, nowadays we must get better education to get better job and living, I appreciate for the people who goes to traditional school for learn religion, they are the real power facing the new imperialism, Malaysia don't have them, that's why west people love Malaysia, because Malaysian schools are modern schools. As long as we have traditional school, those west people will afraid of us, they will never build F1 circuit or sky building here. They will make difficulties for us. And that doesn't really matter if we are lack of technology or economy, we must proud because we are a religious people and those people are afraid of us. I proud with my land.
Last Sunday I watch F1, not from beginning, not until finished. It just great show, the west show, new kind and glamour show. Jenson Button win the race, it's his sixth win in this season, I hope he will the next world champion. He's 29 years old, I am gonna 28 this August. He also a model because of his good looking face. He has many girl friends. He already in F1 for many years, but in the past he just middle-last racer. But he already a public idol for his country, England. I ever saw him in Top Gear, British tv show about cars. He is as a guess star, it said that although he was not top F1 racer, he already reach and famous, many young man want to be like him.
F1 is a symbol of post modern lifestyle, they want us to be part in F1, they want children and young men be an F1 racer, they want us to have F1 circuit in our country. The west people will help the countries that already on their side. they will build a circuit on those country, they will take a racer from them. Malaysia is a country loved by them, they build Sepang for F1, they build Petronas tower in there. They want us to be like Malaysia, have F1 circuit, have tall tower, have great oil company.
I cannot receive if somebody said that our people are dumb because cannot have F1 circuit or sky tower. West people build them. They give a lot of money, allowance from world bank to build those building. They give their architect and expert to build them. It's all because Malaysia is nice country for their imperialism agenda. Their agenda are migrating the local values into their value, they made great concept of live, the improvement of technology, economy, or democracy. Well not all of those values are bad, we didn't have other solution for better lives. Well we already know that the best way in life is our religion, they just intrude in every single aspect in our life.
Everybody goes to school learn their language, nowadays we must get better education to get better job and living, I appreciate for the people who goes to traditional school for learn religion, they are the real power facing the new imperialism, Malaysia don't have them, that's why west people love Malaysia, because Malaysian schools are modern schools. As long as we have traditional school, those west people will afraid of us, they will never build F1 circuit or sky building here. They will make difficulties for us. And that doesn't really matter if we are lack of technology or economy, we must proud because we are a religious people and those people are afraid of us. I proud with my land.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Benjamin Button, The Curious Case
It's an unusual love story, story about born old baby, and grow younger and younger by time, with his childhood close friend. They meet for the fist time when they were seven years old, he was old, a friend of her grandma in old home, while she yell to her grandma showing her ballet, and they meet again tenth years later when he got amnesia but in child body and she already old, she asked him is he remember her?, he said no, but she care of him, she friends him playing piano, she friends him in his breakfast, she friends him walking in the garden, she lullaby him when he died in her arms, she said that he looks her and feels know her before he died.
The movie is opened in hospital with an old dying women, Daisy, with her daughter, Caroline. Caroline said that he gonna miss Daisy so. And then Daisy said that in 1918 there is tuba band in the opening ceremony of the train station with the new clock, it's the best clock ever, she said that her papa is came to the event, there were people everywhere, there were Roosevelt also. But the clock is moving backward, it's made by blind born man that has a boy die in war, he said that perhaps by made the clock backward, it also made the situation backward, the died boy can back home and live long and peaceful, and working in farm. After the event the blind man never seen again. Some say he got heart attack, some say he went to sea.
And then Daisy asked her daughter to read a diary in her black suitcase, she said she want to hear her voice. It's Benjamin diary. It's 1985, he said that he have nothing same as his birth, the only he has is only his story, and he said that he gonna write it before he forgot it. He said that he was born in unusual circumstances. It was after win great war, his father, Thomas run fast to home in the crowded people in the street. Inside his home, he asked everybody why there are a priest, They said that because his wife is dying because of childbirth, and then he came to his wife, and said that he already try best to get home in crowded people, and then she asked him to promise her that their son gonna got a place, and then she died. And then Thomas came to his son, and then take him away, and run. he went to the river and want to throw him, but there are a policeman and asked him what he brought. And then he run from the policeman, and found an old home, and take the baby on the foot stage, and put eighteen dollars with.
The setting is in New Orleans, city of jazz, Queenie and Mr. Weathers take care of the house, he said to her that she looks handsome that night, her brown dress is same with her eyes, and when they step down the stage, they found the baby. He said that they must ignore it because he looks like a monster, but Queenie loves the baby, she take the baby inside, she said that he is miracle, but not a kind of miracle we expect, she called a doctor inside the living room to check the baby, she said that he is son of her sister but born white, the doctor said that the baby's eyes got catharact, his bone and skin should happen on the old man, he is baby with the old-man condition, he should die soon. And then Queenie out from the room and told the people in the room that they had visitor and his name is Benjamin.
Benjamin child is normal kid, he curious like any other child, he played his spoon on the table, he sneaked behind the window. The only different is his physical condition is as an eighty years old man, he use wheel chair for moving. At seven he with mama Queenie went to church for blessing, Queenie want pregnant, and Benjamin asked by the priest to walk get up from his chair, and Benjamin can walk but the priest got heart attack. After he can walk some happens such as he met mr. Weathers brother that had minus in his physical condition, he is short and ever live in zoo with monkeys, he born near lake, he ask Benjamin go out with him to the lake and meet his tall girl friend. Benjamin also learned play piano by a wearing diamond and good dressed lady that came to the house with her old dog. She said to Benjamin that not how well to play piano but how we feel when play piano, and also said that poor Benjamin because he grow younger and younger, so he will loose the people he loved because everybody go older.
He met Daisy for the first time on Sunday, because that day family visiting the old people in the house. He never forget her blue eyes, he said he felt in love for the first time he saw her, he said that he met a person that will change his life forever. When lunch, the menu is turkey, Daisy said that did you know that turkey is not a bird, it is pheasant, bird that cannot fly. Queenie said that god answer her wish, he said that he didn't know what she meant. Daisy said that Queenie will have a baby, her mother ever said the same thing and she got a brother but not live long. She said silly to Benjamin. In the night Daisy grandma read book story to them, it's about kangoroo in 5 o'clock, the book in left side had short writes, and pictures in the right side. they love the story. And then when Benjamin is sleeping, he waken up by Daisy, she said why Benjamin sleep, and then she ask Benjamin followed her into below a table, she asked Benjamin to light the match for candle, Benjamin said that he shouldn't play with matches, she said don't be chicken, so Benjamin light the candle, and then she said that she tell a secret if he also tell one. And then she said that her mother ever kissed a man, and then Benjamin said that he actually not old as he looks, and Daisy said that he is odd, different than other people.
In his teenage, he went with an old man that already got flash seven times to harbour, they met Irish captain, Mike Clark. Captain Mike ask people to help him and his tugboat for two dollars. Nobody want to, only Benjamin. Benjamin cleaned the boat happily, he said will do although not get paid. Inside the boat, captain Mike asked Benjamin is he still turn on in the morning, Benjamin said yes, the hard one. And then he asked when Benjamin got woman, Benjamin said never, he laugh loud and said that it is the poorest thing he met, he with old man that never with a woman in his boat. After sailing they went to pub, captain Mike asked Benjamin about his Father, Benjamin said he don't have one, captain Mike said lucky Benjamin because his father is bad person, he said that his father is a tugboat man and ever said to him that he will also a tugboat forever. He said to his father that he want to be an artist, so he is, he is an artist, a tattoo artist he tattoo all over his body, open his clothes and show Benjamin his tattoo. He said whatever people said, do whatever you wanna be, And then he asked Benjamin to get women, one woman want to be with Benjamin, Benjamin asked for more, but she said enough, and asked Benjamin are he Dick Tracy or something.
After out from the pub he met Thomas that also had finished with woman in the pub, Thomas asked him to get a drunk, Thomas know that he was his son. Thomas asked his family name, he said that he did not have one, and then Thomas said that his family name is Button, Thomas also told him that his wife died when childbirth, when Thomas took Benjamin in front of his house, he asked Benjamin if he could ever come to visit him and said that nice to talk with him, and Benjamin said that is a pleasure to drink with him. After inside the house he met Queenie and puke because of drunk. And when Daisy is in the house he asked Daisy to go to the lake with his tugboat, he asked Daisy if she can swim, she said she can do whatever he can do. So he go to Captain Mike that sleep because of drunk on last night before. And when the boat is on its sailing, it met with big beautiful ship, Daisy said that someday she want inside that ship.
In his seventeen he went out from the house working as a sailorman with seven other crews, in case Captain Mike got new job sail over the sea. When he walk out from the house, Daisy asked him to send her postcards wherever he went, wherever he did. So he sent Daisy postcards and photographs wherever he are, in Liverpool, Glasgow, and other places. Daisy also sent him letters, she said that she was in New York for audition in the American school of ballet.
He said he is in Russia, he met the woman he loved, Elizabeth Abott, he said she not prety, thin as paper, she is wife of British ambassador. He met her on elevator when her high heels are broken. One night he cannot sleep he want to make a tea, he met her and asked her if she want a glass of tea. She told him every place he ever visit, she told her everything, they were talking until dawn. He remember the situation of the hotel in the midnight, the running mouse and stopping, the sound of radiator, the blowing curtain. They did it again every night, they talk each other until the dawn and good bye into the room for their own life. And one night, Elizabeth ask him to eat caviar and vodka, she said to chew them first and drink vodka a bit. She asked him that he never been with woman or eat caviar. And then she kissed him. It was the first time he kissed by a woman. She told him that when she was 19, she swim in English tunnel, unfortunately that night the water are hard for swimming, she already 38 hours in the sea, rain falls, and about two miles more is land, but she said stop swimming. She said she never do something in her life after that. And one night, Elizabeth is gone and send him message nice to meet him.
It was war with japan, and all the sailor take a part, also Captain Mike, he asked his crew to join him, the koky didn't want to, Benjamin said that he can cook, so they were in war in the sea. In the ship they met Cherokee man that spirited for war, and one of the crew, the peasant asked Benjamin to give his money to his family in case something happened. In the sea there were a transport ship with 1300 people inside it got torpedo by Japanese, and then they got battle with bigger ship, the ship is crashed to the Japanese ship, Captain Mike died, he said that if the time is come let it flow. In the morning he saw hummingbird fly in the see. Captain Mike always tell about the bird, a mathematical symbol is taken from hummingbird, an infinity.
He went home in 26 years old, Queenie looks old, Mr. Weathers already died, he met Thomas again, Thomas said that he is his son, he should not abandoned him, He told him that his grandpa is a taylor, his father moved to New Orleans, and now They have a Button's Button, a button factory that grow bigger as war happen because the shoulders need button for their uniforms. He asked Benjamin looks around the home. He saw his mama's picture, Caroline, Thomas said that Caroline was a cook in the kitchen, he made a hole in the wall so can see her in the kitchen, she is from Dublin. He said in young age he loves wake up early in the morning to saw the lake, and he meet her for the first time and felt in love with her.
He meet Daisy again, now she is a woman, he said that she is the most beautiful women he ever met, she said she only two days in New Orleans, he asked her for dinner. All she do was talking, telling him about new york, about people in her company, about she was taking classical ballet, he doesn't know what she talk about or the names she mentioned, but he loves to hear the story. And then they come to a place that Daisy dancing ballet there and asked him for making love, but he rejected her because he ashamed of his condition.
Thomas is dying and asked Benjamin to the lake to watch sun rise that he used to do when he is a young boy. And Benjamin now is the owner of Button's Button, he came to New York to Daisy told her that his father died. He came brought flower and watch her show, he did not tell about his come, Daisy little bit ignore him because after the show the crew has his own event, everybody is young. He met David, David kiss Daisy and dance with her, David asked Benjamin is he her grandmother's friend or something. He asked by Daisy to join with her and her friends, but Benjamin refused, he said that it is his fault not tell her first about his coming, and ask her is David love her, she said she think so. So Benjamin went home.
The movie is opened in hospital with an old dying women, Daisy, with her daughter, Caroline. Caroline said that he gonna miss Daisy so. And then Daisy said that in 1918 there is tuba band in the opening ceremony of the train station with the new clock, it's the best clock ever, she said that her papa is came to the event, there were people everywhere, there were Roosevelt also. But the clock is moving backward, it's made by blind born man that has a boy die in war, he said that perhaps by made the clock backward, it also made the situation backward, the died boy can back home and live long and peaceful, and working in farm. After the event the blind man never seen again. Some say he got heart attack, some say he went to sea.
And then Daisy asked her daughter to read a diary in her black suitcase, she said she want to hear her voice. It's Benjamin diary. It's 1985, he said that he have nothing same as his birth, the only he has is only his story, and he said that he gonna write it before he forgot it. He said that he was born in unusual circumstances. It was after win great war, his father, Thomas run fast to home in the crowded people in the street. Inside his home, he asked everybody why there are a priest, They said that because his wife is dying because of childbirth, and then he came to his wife, and said that he already try best to get home in crowded people, and then she asked him to promise her that their son gonna got a place, and then she died. And then Thomas came to his son, and then take him away, and run. he went to the river and want to throw him, but there are a policeman and asked him what he brought. And then he run from the policeman, and found an old home, and take the baby on the foot stage, and put eighteen dollars with.
The setting is in New Orleans, city of jazz, Queenie and Mr. Weathers take care of the house, he said to her that she looks handsome that night, her brown dress is same with her eyes, and when they step down the stage, they found the baby. He said that they must ignore it because he looks like a monster, but Queenie loves the baby, she take the baby inside, she said that he is miracle, but not a kind of miracle we expect, she called a doctor inside the living room to check the baby, she said that he is son of her sister but born white, the doctor said that the baby's eyes got catharact, his bone and skin should happen on the old man, he is baby with the old-man condition, he should die soon. And then Queenie out from the room and told the people in the room that they had visitor and his name is Benjamin.
Benjamin child is normal kid, he curious like any other child, he played his spoon on the table, he sneaked behind the window. The only different is his physical condition is as an eighty years old man, he use wheel chair for moving. At seven he with mama Queenie went to church for blessing, Queenie want pregnant, and Benjamin asked by the priest to walk get up from his chair, and Benjamin can walk but the priest got heart attack. After he can walk some happens such as he met mr. Weathers brother that had minus in his physical condition, he is short and ever live in zoo with monkeys, he born near lake, he ask Benjamin go out with him to the lake and meet his tall girl friend. Benjamin also learned play piano by a wearing diamond and good dressed lady that came to the house with her old dog. She said to Benjamin that not how well to play piano but how we feel when play piano, and also said that poor Benjamin because he grow younger and younger, so he will loose the people he loved because everybody go older.
He met Daisy for the first time on Sunday, because that day family visiting the old people in the house. He never forget her blue eyes, he said he felt in love for the first time he saw her, he said that he met a person that will change his life forever. When lunch, the menu is turkey, Daisy said that did you know that turkey is not a bird, it is pheasant, bird that cannot fly. Queenie said that god answer her wish, he said that he didn't know what she meant. Daisy said that Queenie will have a baby, her mother ever said the same thing and she got a brother but not live long. She said silly to Benjamin. In the night Daisy grandma read book story to them, it's about kangoroo in 5 o'clock, the book in left side had short writes, and pictures in the right side. they love the story. And then when Benjamin is sleeping, he waken up by Daisy, she said why Benjamin sleep, and then she ask Benjamin followed her into below a table, she asked Benjamin to light the match for candle, Benjamin said that he shouldn't play with matches, she said don't be chicken, so Benjamin light the candle, and then she said that she tell a secret if he also tell one. And then she said that her mother ever kissed a man, and then Benjamin said that he actually not old as he looks, and Daisy said that he is odd, different than other people.
In his teenage, he went with an old man that already got flash seven times to harbour, they met Irish captain, Mike Clark. Captain Mike ask people to help him and his tugboat for two dollars. Nobody want to, only Benjamin. Benjamin cleaned the boat happily, he said will do although not get paid. Inside the boat, captain Mike asked Benjamin is he still turn on in the morning, Benjamin said yes, the hard one. And then he asked when Benjamin got woman, Benjamin said never, he laugh loud and said that it is the poorest thing he met, he with old man that never with a woman in his boat. After sailing they went to pub, captain Mike asked Benjamin about his Father, Benjamin said he don't have one, captain Mike said lucky Benjamin because his father is bad person, he said that his father is a tugboat man and ever said to him that he will also a tugboat forever. He said to his father that he want to be an artist, so he is, he is an artist, a tattoo artist he tattoo all over his body, open his clothes and show Benjamin his tattoo. He said whatever people said, do whatever you wanna be, And then he asked Benjamin to get women, one woman want to be with Benjamin, Benjamin asked for more, but she said enough, and asked Benjamin are he Dick Tracy or something.
After out from the pub he met Thomas that also had finished with woman in the pub, Thomas asked him to get a drunk, Thomas know that he was his son. Thomas asked his family name, he said that he did not have one, and then Thomas said that his family name is Button, Thomas also told him that his wife died when childbirth, when Thomas took Benjamin in front of his house, he asked Benjamin if he could ever come to visit him and said that nice to talk with him, and Benjamin said that is a pleasure to drink with him. After inside the house he met Queenie and puke because of drunk. And when Daisy is in the house he asked Daisy to go to the lake with his tugboat, he asked Daisy if she can swim, she said she can do whatever he can do. So he go to Captain Mike that sleep because of drunk on last night before. And when the boat is on its sailing, it met with big beautiful ship, Daisy said that someday she want inside that ship.
In his seventeen he went out from the house working as a sailorman with seven other crews, in case Captain Mike got new job sail over the sea. When he walk out from the house, Daisy asked him to send her postcards wherever he went, wherever he did. So he sent Daisy postcards and photographs wherever he are, in Liverpool, Glasgow, and other places. Daisy also sent him letters, she said that she was in New York for audition in the American school of ballet.
He said he is in Russia, he met the woman he loved, Elizabeth Abott, he said she not prety, thin as paper, she is wife of British ambassador. He met her on elevator when her high heels are broken. One night he cannot sleep he want to make a tea, he met her and asked her if she want a glass of tea. She told him every place he ever visit, she told her everything, they were talking until dawn. He remember the situation of the hotel in the midnight, the running mouse and stopping, the sound of radiator, the blowing curtain. They did it again every night, they talk each other until the dawn and good bye into the room for their own life. And one night, Elizabeth ask him to eat caviar and vodka, she said to chew them first and drink vodka a bit. She asked him that he never been with woman or eat caviar. And then she kissed him. It was the first time he kissed by a woman. She told him that when she was 19, she swim in English tunnel, unfortunately that night the water are hard for swimming, she already 38 hours in the sea, rain falls, and about two miles more is land, but she said stop swimming. She said she never do something in her life after that. And one night, Elizabeth is gone and send him message nice to meet him.
It was war with japan, and all the sailor take a part, also Captain Mike, he asked his crew to join him, the koky didn't want to, Benjamin said that he can cook, so they were in war in the sea. In the ship they met Cherokee man that spirited for war, and one of the crew, the peasant asked Benjamin to give his money to his family in case something happened. In the sea there were a transport ship with 1300 people inside it got torpedo by Japanese, and then they got battle with bigger ship, the ship is crashed to the Japanese ship, Captain Mike died, he said that if the time is come let it flow. In the morning he saw hummingbird fly in the see. Captain Mike always tell about the bird, a mathematical symbol is taken from hummingbird, an infinity.
He went home in 26 years old, Queenie looks old, Mr. Weathers already died, he met Thomas again, Thomas said that he is his son, he should not abandoned him, He told him that his grandpa is a taylor, his father moved to New Orleans, and now They have a Button's Button, a button factory that grow bigger as war happen because the shoulders need button for their uniforms. He asked Benjamin looks around the home. He saw his mama's picture, Caroline, Thomas said that Caroline was a cook in the kitchen, he made a hole in the wall so can see her in the kitchen, she is from Dublin. He said in young age he loves wake up early in the morning to saw the lake, and he meet her for the first time and felt in love with her.
He meet Daisy again, now she is a woman, he said that she is the most beautiful women he ever met, she said she only two days in New Orleans, he asked her for dinner. All she do was talking, telling him about new york, about people in her company, about she was taking classical ballet, he doesn't know what she talk about or the names she mentioned, but he loves to hear the story. And then they come to a place that Daisy dancing ballet there and asked him for making love, but he rejected her because he ashamed of his condition.
Thomas is dying and asked Benjamin to the lake to watch sun rise that he used to do when he is a young boy. And Benjamin now is the owner of Button's Button, he came to New York to Daisy told her that his father died. He came brought flower and watch her show, he did not tell about his come, Daisy little bit ignore him because after the show the crew has his own event, everybody is young. He met David, David kiss Daisy and dance with her, David asked Benjamin is he her grandmother's friend or something. He asked by Daisy to join with her and her friends, but Benjamin refused, he said that it is his fault not tell her first about his coming, and ask her is David love her, she said she think so. So Benjamin went home.
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